Sunday, 23 November 2008
Gaffers Gob
The Hurricanes seem to have decided that discretion is the better part of valour (or they just fancied watching the England match instead) this week and cancelled on us. Despite this being our first win of the season, Steve took the news badly and at lunch on Wednesday, was nigh on crying into his Americano coffee. Despite his defensive hard man status and Vinnie Jones like reputation, he really does take rejection badly. Anyway, kick off is 7pm next week and see's the return of one half of our strike force in Nathan. Gareth despite being advised to have another month lay off played through an 11 a side match during the week without issue so will hopefully return quickly.
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Gaffer's Gob (Athletico Becks 12/11/08)
A week is a long time in charge of the Mollie's neatly sums up my feelings following Wednesday nights performance against Athletico Becks. After the detritus that was our match against the Elite the return of Big Mike and Robbie injected some much needed defensive backbone into our aging line-up at the expense of any attack minded players. Therefore it was no surprise that we held up well only conceding 6 goals, equally it was no surprise we only scored 4. However, in terms of sheer performance and guts shown it was a marked improvement from the previous week. Steve continued to show that he is the dirtiest player in our league with cynical trips and defensive positioning offsetting a lack of speed. Robbie also showed natural athleticism in barely breaking a sweat following a lay of about 3 months.
What made this a much more pleasing performance was the passing and general skill shown by the Mollie's (except up front). The impending return of Nathan is a boost for next week, especially given the natural finishing of Mike (some 40 foot above the bar and counting) and Alan (great finish, wrong net). However, this small errors in front of goal aside, the team has shown a great return to form with the hope of three points next week against fellow relegation battlers The Hurricanes. They lost 20-7 against The Elite on Wednesday indicating that the ringer may be a somewhat more permanent problem than hoped. Equally, our net loss by 8 goals against their 13 goals indicates that we may have some hope for our first points of the season.
What made this a much more pleasing performance was the passing and general skill shown by the Mollie's (except up front). The impending return of Nathan is a boost for next week, especially given the natural finishing of Mike (some 40 foot above the bar and counting) and Alan (great finish, wrong net). However, this small errors in front of goal aside, the team has shown a great return to form with the hope of three points next week against fellow relegation battlers The Hurricanes. They lost 20-7 against The Elite on Wednesday indicating that the ringer may be a somewhat more permanent problem than hoped. Equally, our net loss by 8 goals against their 13 goals indicates that we may have some hope for our first points of the season.
Anonymous comments (Athletico Becks 12/11/08)
Worth the drag away from the fireplace on a cold and frosty night well it was cold.Mollies played as if they had some pride and would have like to have won if given the chance by the opposition.The long balls still gave Matt the idea he could win the game by scoring from a deflection, but at least this time we were giving 101% effort. Passing to each other was coming back into the game and rarely did Allan make the long runs into the corner. He seems to have readily accepted he plays better in defence and given a few more weeks in the role he will make the role his perminently.Leo played his usual role with determination and it would be remiss of me not to mention his three clear misses,I find it difficult to critise him as he himself is his biggest critic.The mollies would not be the mollies without him and you would not have your worthy cheerleader if he was dropped.Steve is finding the running after the young players difficult it maybe looking forward to his retirement do.We had some good news last night on the injury front Nathan maybe be coming back next week and hopefully it will be the end of the goal famine.Gareth 3 weeks time which will test theplayers for their places. When we play this team again in December we could hopefully be chosing from ,Matt, Leo, Mike,Nathan,Carlos?Gareth,little Mike, Steve, Allan, Robbie.
Thursday, 13 November 2008
Monday, 10 November 2008
Gaffer's Gob (The Elite 5/11/08)
To supplement the infrequent and somewhat fictional match reports provided by Lungboy, the Gaffer has decided to add his own spin on the (at the moment) weekly debacle that is The Molly's.
"Oh dear", pretty much sums up last night abject display against our easy 3 pointers, The Elite. The Molly's suffered from a combination of an inability to hit the back of the net for the second week in a row and the introduction of a Southampton and Portsmouth FC schoolboy 'ringer'. I have it on good authority that he was drafted in to counter the threat posed by Gareth. Whether he continues to pose a threat in the future i suppose hinges on whether he will want to continue to play at Goals on a cold Wednesday Winters night.
However, ringers aside, Molly's did not help themselves with a lack of movement that could have turned the game when an opposition whipper snapper took umbrage at the referee for having the temerity to tell him off for attempting to decapitate our resident defensive journalist Lungboy. Safe to say the ref was happy at being called a see you next tuesday and reduced the opposition to 4 players.
At half time we were 8 goals behind as we were at the end of the match. Tactically in retrospect we could have asked Carlos to goal hang and brought little mike back to help break the midfield as for all of Carlos's flair and ball skills, his Latin tackling was not his best suit. We frequently had 2 or 3 players trying to tackle one leaving a man over which is criminal when you have a numerical advantage. Either way, next week should see the return of Mike and the possible return of Robbie if he returns my email and text messages.
I am somewhat concerned about Don's prognosis that Gareth will be out for another month. There is no doubt we have missed the duo of Gareth and Nathan up front as our lowly league position will testify. Oh and if anyone thinks that i missed criticism of myself, i have to admit that i was shocking in goal last night.
"Oh dear", pretty much sums up last night abject display against our easy 3 pointers, The Elite. The Molly's suffered from a combination of an inability to hit the back of the net for the second week in a row and the introduction of a Southampton and Portsmouth FC schoolboy 'ringer'. I have it on good authority that he was drafted in to counter the threat posed by Gareth. Whether he continues to pose a threat in the future i suppose hinges on whether he will want to continue to play at Goals on a cold Wednesday Winters night.
However, ringers aside, Molly's did not help themselves with a lack of movement that could have turned the game when an opposition whipper snapper took umbrage at the referee for having the temerity to tell him off for attempting to decapitate our resident defensive journalist Lungboy. Safe to say the ref was happy at being called a see you next tuesday and reduced the opposition to 4 players.
At half time we were 8 goals behind as we were at the end of the match. Tactically in retrospect we could have asked Carlos to goal hang and brought little mike back to help break the midfield as for all of Carlos's flair and ball skills, his Latin tackling was not his best suit. We frequently had 2 or 3 players trying to tackle one leaving a man over which is criminal when you have a numerical advantage. Either way, next week should see the return of Mike and the possible return of Robbie if he returns my email and text messages.
I am somewhat concerned about Don's prognosis that Gareth will be out for another month. There is no doubt we have missed the duo of Gareth and Nathan up front as our lowly league position will testify. Oh and if anyone thinks that i missed criticism of myself, i have to admit that i was shocking in goal last night.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
'Anonymous' comments (The Elite 5/11/08)
Good game to watch, Allan summed it up they wanted to win,sadly the Mollies played with a lack of direction or discipline.Tired towards the end of the first half they refused to play and pass to each other and golden rules were broken throughout.The opposition reduced to 4 men after a violent tackle upon our blameless Leo mananged to contain our long shots which were just not good enough. Whilst overal spirits remain high the plain facts we fielded unfit players some of which don't listen or learn from mistakes made on a weekly basis.Players coming off when they feel their tired is not the answer.I was reminded once again "I paid £7" which is not a good omen for Mollies future.
Members performance:
1. Matt made some good saves and I wouldn't critise his overal committment after being threathened at half time not to throw long balls he was left with little alternative by the players in front of him who failed to make space for themselves.
2. Leo was strongly committed but struggled with fitness.
3. Steve looked unfit and slightly overweight and hasn't learned anything from my coaching, making strong tackles which rarely paid off living him stranded and Matt vunerable.
4. Allan has lost the will to win and barely threatening the opposition's goal.
5. Carlos showed all the attributes that are the hallmarks that is the Mollies but he lacked the support of his team mates who had forgotton Don,s golden rules.
6.Young Mike showed little of hishis early promise and was reduced to walking for the ball and hoping the opposition made mistakes to enable him to get the ball. Whilst he was obviously tired in the the last 30 minutes of the match he steadfastly refused dispite my demands to come off. Clearly "I've paid my £7" syndrome. Bluntly no team spirit I could not resist thetemptation to play him again.
7. Adam as usual played his nomal game and the opposition's three out fielders found it difficult to go round him.
Overal using Leo's words your passing to each other was shit and mainly non-existant.Don't go forward unless you can run back was abandoned once again for selfeshness"I want to score"syndrome .Steve and Allan be proud of being a defender you haven't got the pace or skill to be anything else, I hope for the teams sake your listening. Move around at the back so Matt has someone to throw the ball at,don't use free-kicks as a means of getting a rest,Leo made some room for himself on one occasion and may have scored if Steve had reacted quicker with the free kick.Bluntly, Allan and Steve take penaties not free kicks.Yours D.J.
Members performance:
1. Matt made some good saves and I wouldn't critise his overal committment after being threathened at half time not to throw long balls he was left with little alternative by the players in front of him who failed to make space for themselves.
2. Leo was strongly committed but struggled with fitness.
3. Steve looked unfit and slightly overweight and hasn't learned anything from my coaching, making strong tackles which rarely paid off living him stranded and Matt vunerable.
4. Allan has lost the will to win and barely threatening the opposition's goal.
5. Carlos showed all the attributes that are the hallmarks that is the Mollies but he lacked the support of his team mates who had forgotton Don,s golden rules.
6.Young Mike showed little of hishis early promise and was reduced to walking for the ball and hoping the opposition made mistakes to enable him to get the ball. Whilst he was obviously tired in the the last 30 minutes of the match he steadfastly refused dispite my demands to come off. Clearly "I've paid my £7" syndrome. Bluntly no team spirit I could not resist thetemptation to play him again.
7. Adam as usual played his nomal game and the opposition's three out fielders found it difficult to go round him.
Overal using Leo's words your passing to each other was shit and mainly non-existant.Don't go forward unless you can run back was abandoned once again for selfeshness"I want to score"syndrome .Steve and Allan be proud of being a defender you haven't got the pace or skill to be anything else, I hope for the teams sake your listening. Move around at the back so Matt has someone to throw the ball at,don't use free-kicks as a means of getting a rest,Leo made some room for himself on one occasion and may have scored if Steve had reacted quicker with the free kick.Bluntly, Allan and Steve take penaties not free kicks.Yours D.J.
Gaffer's Gob (Best Since Best 29/10/08)
Bit of a shocker this one. Molly's appeared to be outplayed in all areas of the pitch. Despite an injection of continental flair from Carlos, and some fairly accurate and intricate passing, Molly's rarely hit the back of the net. Alongside this, there appeared to be a lack of communication between the front players and defence leaving Steve and Leo exposed at the back and trying to counter overlaps. All in all, a bit of a rude awakening for the Molly's entering a new season, highlighting the need for a speedy recovery of Gareth and Nathan.
8:2 The Elite 5/11/08 8:30pm
LOST 8-16
Matt, Leo, Alan1, Steve, Little Mike4, Carlos3, Adam
Matt, Leo, Alan1, Steve, Little Mike4, Carlos3, Adam
A history of violence.
I’ve only been involved in a few acts of physical violence in my lifetime (I don’t include the odd punch and slap between my siblings). I was probably nine for my first perpetration of aggression upon a stranger. Primary school. Playground tussle with a childish jerk. Back in those days I knew nothing of Karate Kid or Rope-a-Soap, so fighting like a girl was the preferred modus operandi (i.e. hair-pulling).
When I was ten, my friend and I were walking home from school, when we were confronted by one of the more under-privileged, ill-educated members of our peerage. A ‘Hatcher’. My friend told me to run home, and like a coward I did, whilst he took a possible bullet of a beating for me.
The next significant act of violence will be familiar to anyone who knows me – early 20s – whilst at work, I ran under and smashed over a three-way ladder, as someone stood at its top. Gravity and the grace of God fought hard for him to live or die, but a broken arm, a fractured arm and an emptying of bowels were the only consequences of my vicarious liability personal injury claim.
The most recent act of violence forced upon me was on Wednesday night. Towards the end of the first half against The Elite, a match they were winning 9-1 at the time, I was minding my own business collecting the ball from our corner. Clearly I had been singled out as the best Molly player, and marked out for special treatment. Treatment came in the form of an unprovoked nowhere-near-the-ball challenge that smashed my fragile body against the side wall and into a heap on the ground.
I know how to take a fall. I have martial arts training. Orange belt. So when one takes a fall, you do so to minimise the impact, allow the opportunity to roll with it, and get back into a fighting stance. It helps greatly for maximum effect to shoulder barge the side wall as you’re falling, so the bang of the wham is good n’ loud.
Whilst I wasn’t so bothered about the shit challenge, the ref took umbrage at the gross act of mindless violence, and was all set to sin bin the Elite perp for four minutes, except he refused to give his name to the ref, and used enough colourful language to fully stock Mr Magorium’s Wankerful Cuntorium.
As a side-note, this was the same ref in a previous match, that had thought my outburst of “you fucking idiot” directed at myself for passing the ball high, was directed at him as he blew for the foul. A trigger-happy twitcher or an unsung moral crusader?
So the red card ensued, and the offender defiantly left, remembering to take his car keys out of his mate’s bag; and what looked like shit creek without a paddle had a turning point. We had now been given a paddle.
Unfortunately shit creek tends to be one long straight, with no turnings. As the Gaffer and the Cheerleader have already in more eloquent terms put it, we ended up drowning in the stuff, and getting beaten 16-8, despite playing against four men, despite always supposedly having an extra man in space.
So it leaves me with nothing else to say, but thank our Portuguese superstar, Carlos for the footballing education, his command of the English language strong enough to shout “press, press” as the match descended into farce. So embarrassed at how we could possibly lose, our ringer winger wasn’t sticking around in this country to find out, getting on the next available flight out.
I’ve only been involved in a few acts of physical violence in my lifetime (I don’t include the odd punch and slap between my siblings). I was probably nine for my first perpetration of aggression upon a stranger. Primary school. Playground tussle with a childish jerk. Back in those days I knew nothing of Karate Kid or Rope-a-Soap, so fighting like a girl was the preferred modus operandi (i.e. hair-pulling).
When I was ten, my friend and I were walking home from school, when we were confronted by one of the more under-privileged, ill-educated members of our peerage. A ‘Hatcher’. My friend told me to run home, and like a coward I did, whilst he took a possible bullet of a beating for me.
The next significant act of violence will be familiar to anyone who knows me – early 20s – whilst at work, I ran under and smashed over a three-way ladder, as someone stood at its top. Gravity and the grace of God fought hard for him to live or die, but a broken arm, a fractured arm and an emptying of bowels were the only consequences of my vicarious liability personal injury claim.
The most recent act of violence forced upon me was on Wednesday night. Towards the end of the first half against The Elite, a match they were winning 9-1 at the time, I was minding my own business collecting the ball from our corner. Clearly I had been singled out as the best Molly player, and marked out for special treatment. Treatment came in the form of an unprovoked nowhere-near-the-ball challenge that smashed my fragile body against the side wall and into a heap on the ground.
I know how to take a fall. I have martial arts training. Orange belt. So when one takes a fall, you do so to minimise the impact, allow the opportunity to roll with it, and get back into a fighting stance. It helps greatly for maximum effect to shoulder barge the side wall as you’re falling, so the bang of the wham is good n’ loud.
Whilst I wasn’t so bothered about the shit challenge, the ref took umbrage at the gross act of mindless violence, and was all set to sin bin the Elite perp for four minutes, except he refused to give his name to the ref, and used enough colourful language to fully stock Mr Magorium’s Wankerful Cuntorium.
As a side-note, this was the same ref in a previous match, that had thought my outburst of “you fucking idiot” directed at myself for passing the ball high, was directed at him as he blew for the foul. A trigger-happy twitcher or an unsung moral crusader?
So the red card ensued, and the offender defiantly left, remembering to take his car keys out of his mate’s bag; and what looked like shit creek without a paddle had a turning point. We had now been given a paddle.
Unfortunately shit creek tends to be one long straight, with no turnings. As the Gaffer and the Cheerleader have already in more eloquent terms put it, we ended up drowning in the stuff, and getting beaten 16-8, despite playing against four men, despite always supposedly having an extra man in space.
So it leaves me with nothing else to say, but thank our Portuguese superstar, Carlos for the footballing education, his command of the English language strong enough to shout “press, press” as the match descended into farce. So embarrassed at how we could possibly lose, our ringer winger wasn’t sticking around in this country to find out, getting on the next available flight out.
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