Sunday, 27 January 2008
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
Matches 8 & 9 Season 4 vs. Two Left Feet FC & Real Cupid Stunts
16/1/08 7.45pm
Matt, Nobby, Leo, Gareth, Nathan, Michael, Mike
LOST 8-6
Scorers: Nathan 4, Michael 1, Gareth 1
Ratings: Matt 7, Nobby 7, Leo 7, Gareth 7, Nathan 7, Michael 7, Mike 7
23/1/08 8.30pm
Leo, Nobby, Steve, Gareth, Nathan, Michael, Alan
WON 9-8
Scorers: Nathan 4, Steve 1, Alan 1, Gareth 3
Ratings: Leo 9, Nobby 9, Steve 9, Gareth 9, Nathan 9, Michael 9, Alan 9
The smallest amount of time can make the infinite of difference. The difference between being remembered as The Joker in the new Batman movie, to obituaries littered with ‘gay cowboy’. The time so short from the messianic return of leading the black and white army from the promised land of promise to the certainty of consistent defeat. The time it takes the true master alien overlord to extol the virtues of getting “those spectators in the playing field or outta the arena”. The time it takes to go from narrow defeat to narrow victory.
Two games, two new Molly squad members. Firstly, junior Mike, the 14 year old nephew ringer, with Christ-like hair and floaty limbs, bringing back fond memories of 1-10 Ben, but without the skill having been rung out of his wishy-washy body. Secondly, Alan, keen as mustard, green as mustard gas, passing a solid (debut) that forcibly restrained those Superintendent Chalmers impressions (for now).
I don’t really have much to say about the match against Two Left feet FC, suffice to say that their lanky number 9 embarrassed himself and shamed Leos everywhere with his inability to say on his feet and keep his bitchhole shut, as he went toe to toe against the one true Leo god – Leonus Prime. Expect my promotional infomercial soon. Booyah! Some superb attacking triangles developed between Gareth, junior Mike, and Nathan, and blossomed into an hitherto unseen skill based forward movement, let down by imprecise shooting, like uncovering the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, and like y’know, who knows? Throw away some of the raggedy squirmers conceded, and throw in a better disciplined defence, or just an attack who could outgun theirs, and we would’ve easily seen the Mollys stick two right feet wherest thy sunneth dost noteth shineth.
With my memory serving me better for the latest battle on the Mollys’ Graveyard, we move swiftly on to the game against Real Cupid Stunts (snigger). With Matt having to drop out of the game to go flat hunting for a bigger (snigger) place, I guess like Ram-Man being unable to sit comfortably in a Sylvanian Families treehouse, it was the second coming of Leo, flying squirrel, in goal. Having recorded the first Molly victory of the season with said squirrel in goal previously, Leo’s 100% record (the only one he has a chance of holding onto, given every other defender has outscored him this term - even Steve, even Adam, eveneriest Robbie. For fuck’s sake.), would be tested by an arsenal of weaponry that had launched a double dozen against Matt’s state in a previous conflict. To never be finished....
Matt, Nobby, Leo, Gareth, Nathan, Michael, Mike
LOST 8-6
Scorers: Nathan 4, Michael 1, Gareth 1
Ratings: Matt 7, Nobby 7, Leo 7, Gareth 7, Nathan 7, Michael 7, Mike 7
23/1/08 8.30pm
Leo, Nobby, Steve, Gareth, Nathan, Michael, Alan
WON 9-8
Scorers: Nathan 4, Steve 1, Alan 1, Gareth 3
Ratings: Leo 9, Nobby 9, Steve 9, Gareth 9, Nathan 9, Michael 9, Alan 9
The smallest amount of time can make the infinite of difference. The difference between being remembered as The Joker in the new Batman movie, to obituaries littered with ‘gay cowboy’. The time so short from the messianic return of leading the black and white army from the promised land of promise to the certainty of consistent defeat. The time it takes the true master alien overlord to extol the virtues of getting “those spectators in the playing field or outta the arena”. The time it takes to go from narrow defeat to narrow victory.
Two games, two new Molly squad members. Firstly, junior Mike, the 14 year old nephew ringer, with Christ-like hair and floaty limbs, bringing back fond memories of 1-10 Ben, but without the skill having been rung out of his wishy-washy body. Secondly, Alan, keen as mustard, green as mustard gas, passing a solid (debut) that forcibly restrained those Superintendent Chalmers impressions (for now).
I don’t really have much to say about the match against Two Left feet FC, suffice to say that their lanky number 9 embarrassed himself and shamed Leos everywhere with his inability to say on his feet and keep his bitchhole shut, as he went toe to toe against the one true Leo god – Leonus Prime. Expect my promotional infomercial soon. Booyah! Some superb attacking triangles developed between Gareth, junior Mike, and Nathan, and blossomed into an hitherto unseen skill based forward movement, let down by imprecise shooting, like uncovering the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, and like y’know, who knows? Throw away some of the raggedy squirmers conceded, and throw in a better disciplined defence, or just an attack who could outgun theirs, and we would’ve easily seen the Mollys stick two right feet wherest thy sunneth dost noteth shineth.
With my memory serving me better for the latest battle on the Mollys’ Graveyard, we move swiftly on to the game against Real Cupid Stunts (snigger). With Matt having to drop out of the game to go flat hunting for a bigger (snigger) place, I guess like Ram-Man being unable to sit comfortably in a Sylvanian Families treehouse, it was the second coming of Leo, flying squirrel, in goal. Having recorded the first Molly victory of the season with said squirrel in goal previously, Leo’s 100% record (the only one he has a chance of holding onto, given every other defender has outscored him this term - even Steve, even Adam, eveneriest Robbie. For fuck’s sake.), would be tested by an arsenal of weaponry that had launched a double dozen against Matt’s state in a previous conflict. To never be finished....
Saturday, 12 January 2008
Don's Dos N' Don'ts
In honour of Don's recent retirement from paid employment, I present my most favourite conversation with him, that happened on 12th December 2007, after the Mollys match.
Scene – Ext. Goals Centre entrance
DON (to LEO) “Are they posing the games for Christmas?”
LEO “Eh?”
DON “Y’know, posing the games for Christmas”
LEO “Posing?”
DON “Aye. Posing.”
DON stands still, with his hands raised, in a POSE
LEO “Posing? What are you talking about?”
NATHAN “He means ‘suspending’ the games.”
LEO “Okay, I understand ‘suspending’, but ‘posing’?”
DON “Posing! Posing the game!”
LEO “Oh! ‘Pausing’. Why would you say pausing the game anyway? You don’t pause a game?!”
THE END
Scene – Ext. Goals Centre entrance
DON (to LEO) “Are they posing the games for Christmas?”
LEO “Eh?”
DON “Y’know, posing the games for Christmas”
LEO “Posing?”
DON “Aye. Posing.”
DON stands still, with his hands raised, in a POSE
LEO “Posing? What are you talking about?”
NATHAN “He means ‘suspending’ the games.”
LEO “Okay, I understand ‘suspending’, but ‘posing’?”
DON “Posing! Posing the game!”
LEO “Oh! ‘Pausing’. Why would you say pausing the game anyway? You don’t pause a game?!”
THE END
Thursday, 10 January 2008
Match 7 Season 4 vs. Sholy Hit
9/1/08 7.00pm
Matt, Steve, Gareth, Nathan, Adam, Michael
WON 23-2
Scorers: Michael 3, Steve 1, Adam 2, Nathan 8, Gareth 9
Gaffer's review:
"You missed a treat last night. Played the first 5 minutes with 4 players and was still winning when Adam turned up. Won 23-2 in the end with Mike scoring about 3, Adam 2 thunderbolts and Steve with 1 as well. The rest were between Gareth and Nathan."
Nathan's review:
"8 awesome strikes in 12 mins due to traffic on M3!!!"
Matt, Steve, Gareth, Nathan, Adam, Michael
WON 23-2
Scorers: Michael 3, Steve 1, Adam 2, Nathan 8, Gareth 9
Gaffer's review:
"You missed a treat last night. Played the first 5 minutes with 4 players and was still winning when Adam turned up. Won 23-2 in the end with Mike scoring about 3, Adam 2 thunderbolts and Steve with 1 as well. The rest were between Gareth and Nathan."
Nathan's review:
"8 awesome strikes in 12 mins due to traffic on M3!!!"
Friday, 4 January 2008
Match 6 Season 4 vs. The Granite
2/1/08 9:15pm
Matt, Nobby, Steve, Robbie, Dean, Gareth, Michael
LOST 6-11
Scorers: Steve 1, Michael 2, Robbie 1, Gareth 2
-"Yes I did!!!!!!"
-"The second one a Brazilian moment from 20-25 yards. Right foot with the outside of my right foot Cool as you like. Goalie did not move"
-"I had an absolute stinker. theye were far too physical for my dandylike style of play so didn't score and was probably at fault for at least 5 of their goals"
-"SCORED 2 GOALS"
-"not a snifta"
Matt, Nobby, Steve, Robbie, Dean, Gareth, Michael
LOST 6-11
Scorers: Steve 1, Michael 2, Robbie 1, Gareth 2
-"Yes I did!!!!!!"
-"The second one a Brazilian moment from 20-25 yards. Right foot with the outside of my right foot Cool as you like. Goalie did not move"
-"I had an absolute stinker. theye were far too physical for my dandylike style of play so didn't score and was probably at fault for at least 5 of their goals"
-"SCORED 2 GOALS"
-"not a snifta"
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